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Name: Aurelia
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Member Since: 11/1/2004

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Friday, September 01, 2006

Homesickness

Homesickness, it's universal. Psychologists call it "separation anxiety" and few people are immune. It is experienced by the kindergartner going off to school, as well as the business person starting a new job. (taken from UW Eau Claire Conseling Services)

Homesickness is a normal response to separation from people, places and things that give you a sense of belonging. Most people experience homesickness at some point in their lives.
It is experienced if you move to a new town, start a new job, go away to college or study abroad. (taken from loyola.edu)

I never realized that homesick is a major problem until I experienced it in 2003. I suddenlly felt a blanket of emptiness covered my heart.
For some reason, crying seem a very good idea. In just 3 days I lost about 5 pounds (good idea for diet =p), my eyes puffed and make me looked like a panda and I just felt that my life worth nothing.
After successfully escaped from that period, I never think about it again, not even once, until......yesterday.

This time it wasn't me who has a puffy eyes, it was my friend. Incidentally I found her crying, I asked her nothing, I just wait for her, to be ready to tell me her problem.
And then she did it, she told me that she doesn't want to do this anymore. She just want to run back to the safest place in this world that called home, she really want to go home.

At first I was so confused. I did experienced this "anxiety" before but consolation really its not my department. I asked so many people the best solution for this matter and at the end I shared my experience to her, and told her that everyone will experiences this at some point of their lives, the difference is "when".
From my point of view, she seems to feel better, but I'm not sure too. Hopefully she is fine, live away from parents its not that bad (believe me =D )and 5 months is not that long my dear friend.

**************
I actually write these entry in my friendster blog. Well... lets just say I like to try new things and see how its turn out, hehehe....
Both blogs have its own advantages, so I found it hard to decide which one should I use.
Ehmm....


Friday, July 14, 2006

I feel so useless. Four years of college seem waste of time and money. Sometimes I regret the decision of going overseas. Another times I appreciate that oppportunity. But why I don't make the most of it. I wished I will have another opportunity, but I believe it will never come...

Right now, I'm just trying to convinced myself that I'm undervalued myself, that I actually can do it, that I still have time to fixed everything and show everyone around me what actually I can do. But words are easy to say, not easy to be done...


Saturday, July 08, 2006

In three days I'm going back to Indo...not for good though...In September...I will be back.

Lets see what can I say about my 5 months in Beijing.....

1. I came to Beijing with only 7 T-shirt and 2 pairs of jeans. I will go back home with 37 kg of luggages.
2. For some reason, I bought 8 clothes for my little bro and bought only 1 for my sis..(she's going to kill me for this..)
3. The last 5 months, I bought 6 pairs total of shoes and sandals. And..I have to threw away 3 of them...because after used it for a very short time..its just ruined.
4. I ate so much Chinese food...so right now...I really doesnt have any mood for chinese foods.
5. I drink tea more than water. I like it though.
6. I gained 15 pounds during my last semester in Madison. Thanks God...I didn't gain a single pound here in Beijing. Still...have to lose those that I gained in Madison...argh..
7. Beijing's wind has "eat" 3 of my umbrellas. I used them for least than a month, before then it broken.
8. I wrote so many chinese characters....I counted it and its close to 20.000

 


Friday, June 30, 2006

Someone asked me about few lines that post in my previous entry. Like I told Elka, its just some random thought that I have...
And I have another one.....hehehe....
Btw...many of friends encourage me to write in friendster blog instead, because its difficult to post comments in xanga.
Should I do it? Ehm...help me decide yach....=D

Strawberry is used to be sweet
Love it and care about it
But then the wind struck
and the strawberry changed
Its no longer sweet anymore

The strawberry left its leaves alone
Leaving leaves craved for its care
I could only stand there
Not knowing what to do
Dont know where to stand

Should I just be stranger
Close my eyes
Pretend I saw nothing
That I dont care
Will that be the best?


Saturday, June 17, 2006

I am sitting on the edge of my bed, thinking
Wondered how life will be with it
In the past, it never occured in my mind
Recently though, it intruded my feeling

Everytime I see it approaching me
I run away
Every moment I see it moving closer
I step away

When will I have a courage
A Courage to have you
A Courage to see you within my life
A courage to answer yes

Please show me the way
Please show me the moment
Soon or later....
I fear to lose this confidence



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